


it's all for you

by gaydoesnotmeanshitty (orphan_account)



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M, i haven't done vmin justice, i'm sorry i suck at fics, this is gross lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 15:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8922265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/gaydoesnotmeanshitty
Summary: taehyung's blood ran hot, his eyes wide with something akin to hope.jimin, jimin, jimin.he was out of his mind.





	

kim taehyung, park jimin.

that is simply how it had always played out. ever since the kims moved in next door eleven years ago, when jimin was seven and taehyung six, the boys found that they liked each other quite a bit. of course, it had taken a fair amount of coaxing from both mothers to get their sons to utter hesitant hellos, but once that had been done, they wove themselves together like fine thread, a bond seldom broken.

 **ten years ago** , jimin invited taehyung to his secret haven; a shoddy treehouse obscured by lush greenery. it wasn't too far away from either house, a ten minute walk at most, and jimin had led taehyung by the hand. "you'll love it, i promise you."

taehyung hadn't, not really. it was ridiculously underwhelming, that treehouse, a few gaudy planks thrown haphazardly together. but he smiled nonetheless, because jimin had taken the time to lead him here, this place that was wholly _his_ , and he felt warm, like heavy arms had enveloped that spot just below his chest.

every wednesday, as soon as the ting of the school bell could be heard, taehyung would feel little fingers—as soft as wool—graze his forearm. they would run, as quickly as their bumbling, awkward legs would carry them, homework and various magazines clutched in their chubby hands. not that they would get much done. the second their sneakers pattered across the rickety wood, all responsibilities would be forgotten. instead of hurrying through the few problems he'd been assigned, taehyung found the curved line of jimin's brazen smile far more enticing.

 **eight years ago** , the boys were ready to begin middle school. while jimin grinned with pride, his cheeks stretched wide and his eyes nearly glued shut with glee, taehyung's full lips were pulled into a foul pout. while he put on a brave face for jimin, he was undoubtedly afraid—straight down to his quivering core—that jimin would go on and make new friends, interpreting this new start in the most literal way. in simpler terms: taehyung did not want jimin to leave him behind.

"jimin hyung . . . " he whispered. barely ten, taehyung wasn't the most eloquent or strong headed child—the complete opposite of willful jimin; perhaps that is why they got along so well—but there were rare, clear moments where he knew exactly what he wanted. " . . . please, don't leave me."

jimin held taehyung's frail body, as close and as tightly as he could, as if to say _i've got you_. that same tender feeling overtook taehyung's senses as he softened beneath jimin. _he was so warm_.

 **five years ago** , jimin slid into his usual seat beside taehyung in the bustling cafeteria. the sound of laughter and shouts of, "hey, over here!" punctuated the buzz in the atmosphere. he had come with pork dumplings, complete with soy sauce and garnish, undoubtedly taehyung's favourite.

when jimin opened his bag and pulled out his lunch, setting it before himself with flourish, taehyung's already enormous eyes grew impossibly wide with wonder. "hyung! are those what i think they are?"

jimin smiled lazily, though his heart was overflowing with affection, perhaps even a little pride. "go on," he said, "eat."

taehyung looked up at him through disorderly bangs, a sense of sweet innocence and gratitude on his face. "thank you, but, i don't—"

jimin, still wordless, rolled his eyes in exasperation. his fingers, still plump with accumulated baby fat, found the gleaming metal chopsticks beside the steaming container of dumplings. he picked up the biggest one, a monstrosity of dough and meat, positively dripping hot grease, and stuffed it into taehyung's open mouth. his hand lingered by taehyung's rounded jaw as he watched him chew.

"is it good?" jimin asked, knocking his knee against taehyung's, their legs obscured by the table.

"almost as good as the ones mom sells," taehyung answered through a full mouth. his eyes had been screwed shut, though he opened them and shot jimin an exaggerated wink.

 **four and a half years ago** , sooyoung asked jimin to their first homecoming. as freshmen, they had gone stumbling headfirst into high school; neither boy was fully prepared, per se, but they were doing just fine. at least, taehyung had thought so.

jimin's dark eyes had gone wide with shock, then melted into crescents brimming with delight. "i'd love to!" he'd replied to an expectant sooyoung, who had jumped into his arms, a squeal of joy escaping her painted lips. she was so pretty, almost as stunning as jimin, and they remained intertwined like long-lost lovers. it brought an ache to taehyung's chest, that same place that had been glowing reverently for so many years.

the following afternoon, taehyung asked jiwoo if she would like to go with him. though the response was not quite as exuberant as sooyoung's, she had blushed rouge with astonishment, and meekly accepted. taehyung placed a hand on her shoulder and felt like the biggest fraud in the world.

never mind that. taehyung and jimin had still gotten ready together: while taehyung had opted for a simple silk black shirt tucked into equally dark pants, jimin dressed in a navy velvet blazer and plain white button down. taehyung was all long limbs and gaunt collarbones, almost too tall for his own good, whilst jimin was far more solid and pleasing to the eye. jimin didn't resent his height; he was so powerful, so regal and confident in his abilities—all the attention was on him, solely him.

taehyung thawed like bark at the dawn of spring.

***

in the car, as jimin's mother chatted amiably with taehyung (they were old friends, after all), jimin would glance, maybe once or twice, and admire the sharp, high bridge of taehyung's nose, or the wide swoop of his misty eyes. the bright lights streaming from market signs into the gloom of the car accentuated the edge of his collarbone, dewed his skin like drops of fine wine on a lip.

jimin turned away, rubbing his eyes in shame.

***

jimin held sooyoung close—their bodies barely a hairsbreadth away—as they swayed to k. will's please don't. he looked over her slender shoulder to where taehyung and jiwoo moved together in a similar fashion. unlike jimin, taehyung's inquisitive eyes lay closed, his hands gripping jiwoo's slim waist with something close to desperation. jimin felt something fall askew—he moved his small hands from sooyoung's hips to her bare shoulders and counted taehyung's eyelashes under the faint neon glow of the fairy lights.

taehyung opened his eyes.

in half a moment, he noticed jimin's unflinching gaze. it burned like an open flame, peeling him open until he writhed under the scrutiny. that didn't, however, stop him from looking back with just as much unadulterated heat in his eyes.

jimin, taehyung, the way it had always been, the way it should _be_.

as the plush ballad came to a stuttering close, taehyung left jiwoo to go to the bathroom and wipe the sweat off his forehead, perhaps rinse his eyes until they disintegrated into powder in his sockets. the back of taehyung's neck had gone red, his long, knobby fingers trembling with agitation, lust.

he hated himself.

he told himself it was the hormones; he was fourteen, and there were just certain things that would work up just about anyone of his age. the longer he thought about it, the better he began to feel. it wasn't that big of a deal; jimin was pretty, but so was jiwoo. the only difference was that jiwoo was accessible whilst jimin was merely a fantasy, one that was dangerous and undeniably wrong.

he splashed water on his parched face, took one last look in the mirror, and started towards the door, just as jimin slinked in, his eyes searching. they lit up marginally when he caught sight of taehyung. though he didn't utter a single word, his pleading irises seemed to say _i've been looking for you_.

"oh, jimin," taehyung struggled to keep his voice even and true.

"taehyung," jimin said, his voice thick with something taehyung couldn't quite place. he reached out to wrap his fingers tightly across taehyung's delicate wrist, his velvety index finger pressing briefly at the protruding bone. taehyung couldn't look straight at him, so his eyes travelled to the outward slope of jimin's adam's apple instead.

"i—i gotta go. i can't leave jiwoo waiting," taehyung whispered, his voice hoarse with remorse and oncoming tears. he took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the stale aura of the bathroom, before wrenching his arm free of jimin's grip.

he turned his back to a bewildered jimin and left the bathroom. he hurried on to the ballroom, rubbing his wrist where jimin had pressed his fingers. the ache felt close to a burn, the welcome kind, but taehyung could barely feel anything at all.

***

normally, neither taehyung nor jimin were ones for afterparties. it was always too loud, overflowing with music and people that they didn't care for. the alcohol continually tasted cheap and rough, though it was the only reason most people attended, a lame excuse for their presence.

sooyoung, however, had different ideas.

as the quartet stumbled down the steps of the ballroom, sooyoung proposed that they head over to dujun's place. "he's got booze," she propounded, as if that would make much of a difference. surprisingly: quiet, unassuming jiwoo perked up immensely. taehyung cocked an eyebrow at her sudden, uncharacteristic interest, though he kept his mouth sealed.

his eyes skirted over to jimin, whose gaze actively avoided that of taehyung. he sighed and turned to sooyoung, who continued on at the boys' lethargy. "aw! come on, jimin, taehyung. it'll be fun." she pouted her full, rosy lips, and jimin seemed to relent, cracking the tiniest of smiles.

"okay, okay," he complied. a pause ensued as he looked up, straight at taehyung, his gaze direct and pleading. the previous bashed ignorance seemed forgotten, if only for a moment. "only if taehyung comes, too."

taehyung's heart soared with dignity, tenderness. he felt a hundred feet tall.

***

taehyung lowered himself on the couch beside a tipsy hansol. hansol had spread himself out like a bird on the cusp of flight, his thin lips parted and his eyes bleary with incoherency. as expected, jiwoo, sooyoung, and jimin had disappeared into the deep vicinity of the smoky house some time ago, leaving taehyung on his own.

he wasn't surprised, not really. he was the only one of the four who hadn't had his first taste of alcohol yet. his parents had offered him a sip of their evening soju, once or twice, but he'd always declined. jimin had warned him that soju was unforgivingly bitter, and taehyung was too much of a coward to try it regardless, perhaps verify his claims.

the coffee table in front of him brimmed with choices; whiskey, gin, vodka, rum, tequila, and soju, of course. how a squeaky freshman like dujun had managed to get his hands on such a variety baffled him—how taehyung managed to identify every kind escaped him, too.

taehyung was so bored, so alone. he missed jimin, jiwoo—sooyoung even. he knew they didn't mean to leave him, that it had just happened in a spur of the moment—they had gotten swept away by the wide tide of people fighting to get through the door.

he felt suddenly teary, so emotionally drained.

the clean red solo cup in front of him filled with orange juice and a dash of vodka in seemingly its own accord. taehyung hesitantly brought it to his lips, dragging in a breath. it didn't smell too bad, just a bit stronger than he anticipated.

the first sip was sharp, almost acrid, the orange juice curdling on his tongue. though his first instinct was to spit it all over hansol's black velour blazer, he crammed that urge deep inside of himself and swallowed thickly. it hurt, it really did, and taehyung realized a little too late that the juice-to-vodka ratio was excessively skewed.

he sipped absentmindedly as his mind went a little funky. this warm, silky feeling settled into his tummy, the same that would overtake him every time jimin brushed his smooth fingers over taehyung's skin, both accidentally and deliberately. only, this time, jimin was nowhere to be seen.

taehyung decided that he liked vodka quite a bit.

he had settled on a single cup, nothing more. he enjoyed the pleasant sensation of being tipsy, but he did not want to consume more than he could handle, save dujun the displeasure of mopping puke off the floor the next morning.

somebody tugged on his arm and pulled him roughly to his feet. for one disorienting second, the world tilted to the right, and taehyung could barely see, an aftermath of the ample euphoria.

"taehyung," a familiar voice inquired, too fuzzy to make out through the buzz of his ears, "are you drunk?"

taehyung blinked in several quick successions, clearing the mist before his eyes. his voice sounded dense with impending sleep and perplexity. "jimin?"

jimin's face came into being with shattering clarity. perhaps it was the fault of his muddled state, but taehyung analyzed every groove and soft curve of jimin's concerned face with an unabashed simplicity. jimin's normally wide, glistening eyes were slitted in concern, and his tongue darted out several times over the flesh of his chapped red lips to soften them.

jimin had been thinking of dyeing his hair, a supple blonde, perhaps, and had voiced his thoughts to taehyung a week or two ago. he now realized what a wonderful occurrence that would be.

taehyung was snapped out of his mellow daydream when jimin slowly drew him closer by the hand. "and no, i'm not. just a little tipsy," taehyung supplied, clearing his throat beforehand. he could now see jimin's straight little eyelashes, thick and pointed, like the sharpened tip of a black coloured pencil. jimin's open mouth revealed that single crooked tooth, the one that overlapped the other at a strange angle. the ruddy skin under his eyes gleamed with the lightest sheen of nervous sweat.

"really? since when do you drink?" jimin challenged, though his voice carried a hint of harmless teasing. he stepped back—his throat bobbing as he gulped at the tension in the air—much to taehyung's dismay. jimin slung an arm across taehyung's widening shoulders and guided him into a narrow hallway.

"i don't." taehyung left it at that.

jimin didn't pose any new queries. instead, he looked at taehyung, whose cheeks were a molten pink. perspiration coated the pale skin of his temples, heavier than on jimin, and jimin felt his forehead grow hot with a feeling he could not place. taehyung's teeth glowed in the overcast environment of the house, the effect highlighting the whites of his eyes, too. taehyung didn't look quite real, all radiant—brilliant.

"jimin," taehyung mumbled, bringing his subconscious back to reality, "where are the girls?"

"i dunno," he answered with a touch of uncertainty, "they disappeared together, like, ten minutes ago, so i came to find you."

"oh." taehyung felt jimin's fingers tighten against his own. unlike taehyung's long, bony hands, all tendons and bruise-coloured veins, jimin's fingers were creamy and young—all rounded, rosy nails and cushioned knuckles. he wanted to press his lips to every crease and crevice of jimin's little hands.

he allowed the reality of the situation to crash over him like a rugged wave as jimin pulled him through mobs of drunken teenagers and sat him on a stool in the peculiarly empty kitchen. he liked jimin. not the type of like that most boys his age felt for their best friends: he wanted to kiss below jimin's ear, where his skin melded into the curve of his jaw. taehyung wanted to hold jimin so tight that he would forget where he was, so close that their sputtering hearts would beat as one.

"here," jimin said, setting a full plastic cup before him, "drink some water. it'll help, i promise."

taehyung looked up at jimin, his eyes shining with indebtedness. he couldn't unravel the expression that jimin bore, however. it seemed to taehyung like he'd closed himself off, though the faintest glimmer of hope, of lust, could be interpreted should anyone look close.

and taehyung was looking.

jimin forgot that he had told taehyung to drink that water, he forgot that he'd come here with the stunning sooyoung. the way taehyung was scrutinizing him, trying to tell him, _jimin, i love you, i love you_ —

it split him open like a fruit under the unrelenting heat of the sun.

jimin, fifteen, five-five and taken, wanted taehyung more than anything he'd ever known. and it terrified him beyond comprehension.

they watched each other for a second more—mouths open, tongues lolling, eyes searching—and they felt as though a silent agreement had taken place. taehyung finished the last of his water, threw the cup aside, and found jimin's hand, not once breaking the scorching eye-contact.

"please, tae—" jimin began, but he could not finish as taehyung pulled him out of the kitchen, through dingy hallways brimming with people, and into the most deserted room he could find.

jimin's hand found the doorknob, and he hurriedly brought the door to a close. taehyung was standing so close, and jimin could barely hear anything through the deep, erratic thud of his heart, smell anything but taehyung's cologne. (jimin realized, with a start, that it was the one he had gotten for him on his fourteenth birthday).

taehyung's hands were shaking from anticipation, and his eyes lazed with the feel of jimin.

and jimin stepped forward until their hips and shoulders were aligned. he dragged the back of his hand across the smooth apple of taehyung's cheek, and he held it there, feeling taehyung's easy breaths brush tentatively over his forearms.

and jimin leaned forward and kissed him, dizzyingly hard, and taehyung could think of nothing but the way jimin's lips moved against his, or the slow slide of his hands from taehyung's waist to his lower back. taehyung's fingers stroked at the soft skin of jimin's face, right underneath his closed eyes, and marvelled at the impossibility of it all.

jimin had sooyoung, but he still chose taehyung above everyone else.

jimin held taehyung so delicately, with utmost care, as though one wrong move would shatter him into cacophonous shards of glittering glass. he kissed him as though he were making music, firm and slight and breathy. though neither boy had much experience at all, taehyung felt warm, _so warm_ . . .

and jimin let him go.

he stepped back, eyes glazed and lips swollen red. unconsciously, his hand went up to touch the wetness of his mouth, and the sight of jimin doing so nearly drove taehyung to the edge of his sanity.

before taehyung could press a soft kiss to the underside of jimin's jaw, maybe one to his temple, he noticed the agitation blossoming in jimin. he could tell, he could, through the quavering of his hands—he could see the panic radiating off of him.

"taehyung," he asked, his voice on the brink of breakage, "what have we done?"

 **three and a half years ago** , jimin and sooyoung celebrated their one year anniversary. almost sixteen, taehyung felt that dull pang in his chest, one that had become regular, consistent. it would appear every time he would see jimin play with sooyoung's petite hands, or when sooyoung would stand on her tip toes to kiss jimin's plush lips.

over the past year, jimin had changed. he didn't smile quite as much as he used to, and taehyung missed the way his rosy cheeks would engulf his eyes. the air had turned stale without the sound of jimin's laughter drifting pleasantly through it.

jimin had lost weight, too. the delightful roundness of his cheeks had surely depleted, and he looked gaunt, almost hollow. the sweet chubbiness of his fingers had melted off to give way to thinner, harder hands. taehyung rarely ever saw him eat anymore—gone were the days when jimin and taehyung gorged on dumplings, tastier than the ones taehyung's family sold at their restaurant—and it killed him inside.

taehyung tried not to look at jimin, he really did. he didn't glance towards sooyoung's table as he sat alone in the cafeteria, his meal delicious but his heart empty. he didn't pay jimin any mind as he sat in the front row during english, though jimin stared hard enough to bore two holes at the back of taehyung's head.

this wasn't too unusual, no. ever since homecoming last year, when jimin and taehyung had destroyed each other, both boys had kept their distance. that didn't, however, stop the searing looks that jimin would send his way, or the hungry fashion in which taehyung would respond.

it's just—

no one felt obligated to point out the elephant in the room, the one that had stomped all over their chests, broken their fragile bones and crushed their lungs and hearts into a gruesome mush. they were both cowards, jimin more than taehyung, and they had begun to break each other in the process of ignorance.

and when taehyung walked out of school that day, he tried, he really did, not to look at jimin as he passed him by. but—he couldn't help it. he was as forlorn as a single moth drawn to a blazing flame, and he allowed his eyes to flicker, for the briefest of seconds, over jimin's body.

taehyung wasn't sure whether he should be stricken or ecstatic to find that jimin had already been peering at him. taehyung forgot everything and chose elated, for it had been so long since jimin had looked, really _looked_ , at him.

he breathed out slowly, allowing the air to rush out his lungs fully, before dragging in another. his chest burned red, and his hands began to twitch. he looked away from jimin's eyes— _tae, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry_ —and made way for his mother's restaurant.

"eomma! i'm here," taehyung called, the bell above the glass door ringing as he walked in. he was immediately enveloped with the spicy scent of beef, the cloying, understated scent of bulgogi rather prevalent, too. the warmth emanating from the rowdy kitchen thawed his frozen core.

"oh! taehyung-ah, you're here! come help your poor old eomma," taehyung heard the sweet voice of his mother call from deep inside the restaurant. he set his love-worn coat aside and hurried in, forcing a smile for his dear mother, through his heart had been crushed to dust in his ribcage.

***

at eleven that night, taehyung dragged his mop across the last of the grimy tiles in the restaurant's kitchen. he had shooed his mother home, despite her protests of, "tae, i can't let you clean up on your own!" he knew she was beyond exhausted, if the bags under her large eyes and her perpetually mussed hair weren't evidence enough.

"no, eomma, i got this. i just need to clear my head. you go on home and sleep, okay? you've worked hard enough." taehyung's mother smiled, her adoration for her son clear and true on her faded features. for a split second, taehyung could envision the beautiful, downy woman she used to be.

and so taehyung finished up what he had started. he emptied the bucket of soapy water before setting it into the cabinet. he pulled off his crinkly beige apron, emblazoned with the restaurant's quirky catchphrase and said logo's bright colours. taehyung ran a hand through hair, greasy with omission, and hefted his backpack over his cramped shoulders.

the tinny sound of a cheap bell rang out, signalling the entrance of a costumer. startled, taehyung yelled an, "excuse me, we're closed!" as he stepped out of the kitchen. his backpack nearly fell off his shoulders as he took in a shivering jimin, his cheeks flushed and his nose running slightly from the cold.

"jimin? what are you doing here?" taehyung hated that the slight quiver of his voice had projected his desperation so loudly.

"i can't do this anymore, tae." jimin's voice broke at taehyung's name, almost as though he was holding back tears. jimin made no move to stride away from the bitterly cold air rushing through the still-gaping door, and taehyung didn't try to help him, either.

"do what?"

"please—please, don't say anything." jimin took a deep, shuddering breath and wiped the cold sweat off of his furrowed brow. he finally stepped in and away from the door, allowing it to bang shut. the silence that stretched between them was as thick as honey, though not nearly as sweet. "can i just? can i say something?"

taehyung nodded in response, setting his bag to the floor. from the looks of it, jimin had quite a lot churning like creamy butter in his head, a mess that he had been itching to regurgitate. "i can't handle this, seeing you every day, but not being able to talk to you, to—to touch you, and—"

jimin stopped talking, forcing taehyung to lift his gaze from the ground. he looked at jimin, who was really, truly crying now, his eyes darker than their usual chestnut and swirling with salted tears. they ran down his roseate face and collected above the crease of his full upper lip, "i miss you so much, and i hate myself for doing this to you. i hate that i'm such a coward, and i—"

"hyung, this is so fucking cliché," taehyung cut into jimin's monologue, severing it into two pieces. though he had tried his hardest to sound hurt, to keep his demeanor stoic, hints of his signature square smile had begun to show on his face. taehyung knew that jimin still had a whole lot of explaining to do, but he was willing to push that aside to a later date. what mattered most to him now was that jimin had come to say sorry, however overdue the apology may be.

"tae, i know. i just—i really needed to see you, you know? i wanted to tell you what's been going on with me." jimin ran a hand through his sopping hair, in dire need of a cut. it flopped back over his eyes once he removed his fingers, leaving drops of rainwater on his lush skin.

"but why didn't you talk to me? a rejection would have hurt less than blatant ignorance," taehyung countered. unintentionally, taehyung had slowly been edging towards jimin as he spoke. he scarcely realized, not until he felt jimin's hot breath right above his speckled collarbone.

as taehyung's heart leapt to his chest, jimin felt his lungs squeeze with fear, want. it almost killed him, how the desire fully overpowered the little voice in his head screaming _be careful! you're going to regret this!_

and jimin finally understood it: that deep, churning feeling in his gut, that burn behind his eyes.

"it's because . . . i liked it. i didn't want to reject you, tae, and it terrified me. i was too much of a pussy to leave sooyoung, and she didn't deserve all the lies i fed her. but, fuck, i wanted you so bad. i don't know—i couldn't even breathe when you were around me." jimin's eyes snaked up taehyung's slightly tan neck—adorned with a light smattering of moles—over his open mouth, straight nose, and _those eyes_ , "even now. my lungs feel like they're tearing each other apart."

taehyung's mind went blank, a blinding, all-encompassing flash of pure white. he struggled to process the immense weight of the words that jimin had just thrown in taehyung's face. as he tried to clear the muddled disaster that jimin had made of his nerves and senses, he felt jimin's hands skirt undecidedly over his chest (his fingers blistered taehyung's skin, even through the many layers he had worn to shield from the cold) before trailing up to grip his bony shoulders.

the sincere look in jimin's eyes nearly caused taehyung to go mad—he felt his entire being splinter into four thousand pieces of intense longing and craving. jimin's soft scent of faded rain and tangerine wove through taehyung's hair and eyelashes as jimin pulled him forward for a kiss.

the first kiss was brief and overly chaste, though taehyung didn't quite mind. his large hands came up to cup jimin's cheeks, his work-callused thumbs softly rubbing at the the rosy skin underneath jimin's closed eyes. jimin pulled him in by the hips, ever closer, and soon, all either boy could feel was a fierce, undiluted heat uncoiling in their stomachs as their kisses deepened.

jimin ran his tongue along the seam of taehyung's lower lip, and it took him great care and concentration not to shove jimin against a wall and, as a result, undertake one of his more risqué fantasies. jimin, too, felt blood rush to his ears and above his thighs, and it took him copious amounts of restraint not to love taehyung the way he deserved to be.

and taehyung and jimin held each other with immeasurable fervor and joy. it was impossible to tell where their arms, torsos, and lips ended, for they were stitched and laced together like the finest of garments. it was so, so warm. taehyung saw dazzling spots (stars, constellations, galaxies) dancing amidst his closed eyelids.

jimin tasted of sour lemonade on a parched day, a bright spurt of relief and colour. this taste permeated taehyung's mouth like fog over a city—he felt dizzy with a savage hunger, near-addiction.

the feel of taehyung between jimin's lips was much softer, far more muted. he reminded jimin of deep, black coffee, the kind his parents would drink on their front porch as they bade jimin goodbye during hazy school mornings. taehyung felt so solid, sure, and secure in jimin's arms. he was reminded of home.

 **three days ago** , jimin had told taehyung that he loved him in the purest, most simple of ways. "i love you," he had whispered, kissing the ridge of taehyung's sharp jaw, his bared neck. taehyung felt the warmth seep through his chest, his blood, down to his very bones. jimin's words brushed across his soul like the faintest, gentlest fingers, coaxing him awake, pulling him forward, as if to say, _you're alive, you are, and this is happening_ —

taehyung grabbed ahold of the beautiful, beautiful boy before him. "i love you, i love you, i love you more—" his words melted in between jimin's newly golden hair as taehyung pressed his mouth to his scalp, between slight eyebrows.

and taehyung felt his chest loosen and his lungs fill with the scent of bittersweet clementine. _this is it_.

**Author's Note:**

> thank y'all so much for checking out my first fic on ao3 !!! you are the tru mvps !! luv u !! ((comments are greatly appreciated))


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